Employment?

So - I interview for a new job Monday week.

I'm feeling pretty darn conflicted. On one hand - It is work. It will feed my child. It will offer health insurance. It will pay my bills. It doesn't involve fast food, wearing a blue vest or shouting "Gimme a Squiggly!" and shaking my arse like an idiot in public (How I shake my arse in private is none of your business - needless to say, it is just as frightening, there are just fewer witnesses).

On the other hand - it is very far away from my friends and from Kiddo's friends/school/extracurricular activities - you know - everything important to a teenager.

It is closer to my parents. I have lived away from them - like hours and hours - for nearly 20 years, and when mom had a heart attack last year, I was horrified that she might die, and I would be too far away to get there in time to say goodbye. And I felt guilty that I hadn't been to see her more. Do keep in mind, one of the reasons the STBX agreed to cell phones was the realization that you don't have long distance charges on cells - and I talk to my mom for about 45 minutes a day on the phone. Yeah - being closer to my mom is a good thing.

It is also very far away from everything that I consider "civilization." It is not where I want to end up. I really do just want a flat above a shop somewhere that I can walk or ride the train to work. Where I can walk to the shops. You know - some place that has a population of liberal folks greater than 2.5 ... yes... you read that right... 2.5 people. That half - well - that guy got lynched O_o I would make person #3.

The job sounds incredibly interesting. It would still be in my current line of work, but dealing with the public more. There would be more diversification in the stakeholders. I would be able to leave at the end of the day, and leave my work there. I would have time for volunteer work at the Women's Shelter. I would even still have time to teach a class or so at the local community college.

The area is NOT known for its religious diversity though, nor for its acceptance of minorities of any variety.

But - they are the only people who have called me back for an interview. I'm not seeing where there is much choice in the situation. I could stay here and live out of a cardboard box, or I could go stay with my parents. I could stay here and live paycheck to paycheck, until I don't get them any more, and live each term with the knowledge I may not have a job in 10 weeks. Or I can go somewhere where I know how much I'll get paid each month, and know that I will get paid.

There is a university in the area that offers a PhD in a field closely related to mine. After a year, I would have established residency, and could go back to school to get my PhD. That would be a positive. I would be finished about the same time Kiddo graduates high school. Then I could go teach in Europe somewhere. See the world. Have a little flat in Paris.

So - I have been setting myself up to rock this interview. I have professional clothes, a decent haircut, and even had my eyebrows done. (I am no longer an older than dirt eyebrow virgin. The idea of getting them professionally done scared me to death! The cost to pay someone to rip out my hair!! But my salonist only charged $10, and she convinced me that it wouldn't kill me. It wasn't AWFUL... but it is on the same "fun" list as getting a pap smear.) I have practiced interviewing with the university's career services. I have relevant questions ready. I am prepared to rock this interview - because when it comes right down to it - my kid eating is more important than what I want to do or where I want to live.

I appreciate any positive energy you can send my way. I need this job. Or - if this job isn't what the universe has in store for me, could someone please tell the universe I don't do well with subtlety.

Thanks!