Humility and Gratitude

I experienced something beautiful this week.

My instructor made me and The Boy dinner.

She said that she knew about the divorce and that I was teaching 17 hours and that I was working on my thesis, and she could tell I was stretched thin.

She saw me. She heard me - and I wasn't even speaking. It was one of those moments of sheer compassion.

I'm used to being invisible, and thinking that I don't deserve the kindness of others. To receive the kind of simple goodness that that so freely given - was humbling.

I felt uncomfortable accepting her generosity. She is my instructor after all.

But then I had to realize that perhaps this was the universe sending me help, and that I needed to shut my mouth and accept it. I told her that I was struggling with my pride, and do you know what she said? She said that I needed to be kinder to myself. That no one wants to be a burden to others, but we sometimes have to give others the opportunity to be kind.

I want to be like her when I grow up. Strong, and confident, and generous, and healthy, and beautiful - really truly beautiful.

Thank you for teaching me humility and compassion by showing me what it looks like.
Because of your generosity, I have a new appreciation for the generosity of my friends. Thank you to the friend who saw me mention king cakes in a random post on Facebook, and sent me one :) Thank you to the friend who knew I had to work on my thesis, and loaned me a power converter so I could work in my car. Thank you to the friend who is so very sympatico - who can (rather creepily) read my mind across the miles. Thank you to the friend who is willing to tell me when I'm out of line, and that I need to step up my game. Thank you to the friend who is teaching me how to play.

I am not alone. I am not doing this alone. I have friends who love me. I have complete strangers who care. I am a human being, and I deserve the kindness of others.

Today is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with me.